This is going to be another one of those pretty personal posts in the hopes that it can help someone else that’s out there going through the same thing.
I’ve been slowly wading back into the dating world, even putting a profile on Farmers Only a few weeks back. While I’ve always struggled with body image all my life anyhow, the whole dating thing will definitely take its toll and make you doubt the rest of you, especially if you’re like me and have some extraneous baggage that a lot of guys can’t deal with! Most guys aren’t like the Chris Ledoux song, Tougher Than The Rest….
There’s been days of self doubt, ups and downs, frustration, and tears. There’s also been a whole lot of self reflection, and a lot of lessons learned, thanks in part to my dear friend, Austin Foust.
Austin has been my rock through this whole divorce ordeal. He’s been the one person to check on me every single day to make sure I’m ok. He’s been the one I’ve called when I’ve been crying so hard I can’t even speak. He’s been the one to pull me back off the ledge and give me hope. He’s also been the one to remind me time and time again that I’m enough on my own. Sorry ladies – he’s gay!
Austin has been my biggest cheerleader, and he’s reminded me of things that I knew but I just needed to hear. We all need a friend like that. They helps us get stronger.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned is to not settle and don’t lower your standards. Again, do not settle and don’t lower your standards!
It’s amazing how we sometimes lower our standards on certain things when we want something so badly, or we think we don’t deserve better. Sometimes we accept not being treated as important, or less than we deserve. Other times, we say something really isn’t a big deal when in fact it is. In the end, we won’t be happy if we’re not made to feel important or we accept something that we really don’t want. So, why settle in either case?
Another lesson is that people make time for who and what they want in their life. If they want you in their life, they’ll come get you. It’s pretty simple. If they want to talk to you, they will. If not, don’t waste your energy chasing them down – you’re worth more than that!
The next lesson goes hand in hand with the last one – actions speak louder than words. Someone can say all day long they want you in their life, but if they don’t make time for you – even just a text or call – then their actions don’t back up what they’re saying. On a side note, why would you want someone in your life that you can’t take at their word?
You deserve better and you are enough. Just because someone doesn’t make you a priority doesn’t mean you’re not good enough, or that you deserve less. It just means they can’t recognize a good thing when it’s in front of them. Save your time and energy for people that recognize and appreciate the fact that you do deserve better and that you are enough.
Follow your heart. If there’s something you’ve always wanted to do, find a way to go do it. Life is too short to wish you’d done things differently. Don’t be afraid to start over or follow that dream.
I’m definitely preaching to myself on this one! I’ve always wanted to live out west as that’s where my heart has always been.
Spend time focusing on yourself and find joy where you can. If there’s something you love to do, go do it and have fun no matter how small.
In the end, life is too short to spend our energy chasing after people that don’t deserve us, or not following our dreams. Get out there and live while you can and love yourself in the process — You’re worth it!